Prague 2024: Czech In

Friday

Warning - contains mild swears

Ahoj Friends!

Welcome to another travel blog. This time we're off to Prague in Czechia. This'll be a 5 day trip.

The day starts with a pair of cats howling on our drive at 6am and I tell them to do one. One is that long-haired prick who has harassed our Podgy and Monty before, but it's a different victim this time. Furball saunters off like no-biggy. Dickhead.

As I write it's 06:15 and we're being picked up by our travelling companions Rob & Angelique for the short trip to Heathrow T3. Ange has a hire car that she can drop off at Europcar so we've no need for a cab. She'll pick up a new hire car on our return.

Flight is at 10:10 - and in my usual geek way I'm tracking the plane which is currently in Budapest but due at LHR at around 9am. Once you have the plane reg/hex code you can track it anywhere. Ours is G-EUUY 🤓.

Lisa is flapping - stressing about coats. Talking about sacrificing shoes so she can put another coat in. We're traveling light (cabin bags only) hence the flapping.

McTaxi arrives and we're off to Europcar, via a circuitous route. Ange asserts her way through the traffic and tussles with a large lorry and we talk about the film Duel.

We drop the hire car (initially in the wrong place) and jump on the shuttle bus where we're the only passengers and it's a short uneventful ride to T3. Into T3, and straight up to departures.

In the bit where you put liquids on a plastic bag I have one small anti perspirant and the girls see this and start handing me countless bottles of shite. My bag is now bursting at the seam.

Security is a breeze, we were through in 5 mins. Not sure why some people had to take their shoes off, but we didn't.

In the departure lounge we check out where we are last time - which has now changed and £20 for breakfast is a bit strong so we queue elsewhere and have tea and toast. £32 for all 4, bosh.

Back in the main hall, the girls go to WH Smith and us Robs see a kid kick over a fizzy drink much to the parents annoyance and the kid starts bawling.

Off to the gate, we all go for a piss stop. Toilet at our gate is broken (typical) so go to next gate down. Back at our gate we see someone fall over right at the end of the travelator and luggage/helpers/faller cause a blockage. No one pushes button so it continues and I see the white-eyed panic of a traveler approaching the blockage with no where to go. She makes it through somehow, and we go into our gate. We all get our public transport passes (PID) ready so we can sprint for a bus if we need to. A 3 day pass costs £11, get in. I've planned and have done a virtual walk-through of the route (natch 🤓) so I know what bus, where the bus stop is, where we switch to the Metro, etc etc.

Some delay at the gate, then boarding, and 3 of us have to put our bags in the hold 😕. Bags weren't oversize, just no room.

Lisa gets a window seat, me in middle. In front, Ange is on aisle, Rob in middle. Plane looks full. Rob fully reclines seat, to bust my balls. Always the joker. There is a 45min delay due to a faulty headset FFS. Captain explains it's the headset of the people operating the tug, and sounds a little incredulous.

We see Concorde as we taxi to runway. 10:55 - Lift off ✈️

Snacks: Graze and a water.

I have left my earphones in my case - schoolboy error. Oh well, flight is only 1h30.

At some point Rob and Ange have to get up to let some big tall bloke out for a toilet.

We're about 1hr in and Captain says we have caught up some of the lost time. Lisa looks down at Europe. "Where do you reckon that is?" she asks. "Germany?" I reply. Then she wonders about all the "camps" 😬 and I say there's more to Germany; take Kraftwerk as an example.

We land in Czechia and I need a piss. I am surprised by an unmarked sliding door in the toilet.

Cases are quickly retrieved from the carousel and Rob slides them along like stones in a game of curling.

My prep is well served and we're quickly on the 100 bus to Zličín. FYI it rhymes with kitchen, bitchin', itchen' etc and we made all the jokes.

Then down to the Metro and a train pulls in - the girls are still coming down the stairs and panic about getting on. They make it and we ride the metro to Národní třída and this exits via a shopping centre and we see Kafka's revolving head.

Our hotel is very close and we go to reception. It takes a while to do the admin, but our receptionist Fogy and assistant (who tells us she went to London when she was 30, "a long long time ago" but she looks about 20) says we can have a welcome drink of champagne. We quaff the bubbly and hit the rooms for 30 mins before heading out for food.

Rooms are cosy but immaculate and Lisa is happy - which is always the main thing...

We had for food in a lovely little restaurant called Restaurace Blatnice. On the way we see some interesting graffiti...

The streets are so picturesque it's amazing. So many cool places and nooks to explore. But food is on our minds.

At the restaurant we feast like royals and bill is only £77, even with 2 rounds of drinks. Lisa makes us do a video of us having our 1st & 2nd drinks etc. We're eating at about 4pm and the restaurant has gradually emptied. But we are on the road to drunkenness...

Food is great - empty plates all round. We decide that a walk to the waterfront is needed so we head off. The cobbled streets are sooooo beautiful, every turn reveals something amazing.

A walk across the Charles Bridge is filled with more fantastic views with the sun shining down adding such serenity. We see aquatic creatures, maybe otters. Statues of The Christ adorn the bridge.

After a brief look around "lesser town" (west-side) we get a tram back to old town and get cocktails in a bar called Balbi. The Pina Coladas are strong but shit. Not creamy enough, and Lisa is annoyed at this. The bar is super dark. It doesn't warrant the Google rating. Some gay men come in, proper mincing. We head off to Irish Bar Gabby which is next to our hotel. The walls have football shirts (Kane, Ronaldo) and karaoke is happening - we get even more drunk. It's all a bit hazy from there...

All I know is a dwarf is handcuffed to a bloke on the table next to us and they live happily ever after. We stagger 10 steps to hotel.